Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Dear Ship of Souls. What we have here is a record by Wild America....titled "the sea" on some bullshit no name label. Now before I start my exercising my American Freedom of Free Speech I would like you all to know that I did not know I would be getting FREE fucking SHIT by having a blog. I was ready to pull the plug on this whole thing after awaking from my beauty sleep and remembering how much I hate the word Blog, Blog People,Blogs, the idea of Blogs,and doing one. But little known fact...I like FREE fucking shit...a lot. I think more then anybody. If you gave me a cup full of Aids and a San Francisco map I would probably thank you and point out where the MRR house was. And it just so happens today I was gifted this fine record by a fine Mexican American (at least I think he is Mexican even though I swear to fucking god he's Samoan or some other off beat flavor).
Now I grew up in the Chicago suburbs so I KNOW pop punk. I saw all the shitty bullshit cacashit that all those fuck tards in Florida probably jerk off too while drinking PBR. I was at ground zero while all those bearded overweight sloths up in WI were lapping up left over cum from Ben Weasels latest turd tickle on record. I KNOW THIS SHIT. Or I did...you see fellow shipmates I have something to admit right now...I am not 15 anymore. I no longer jerk off into shirts, hang out with wiggers on skateboards, try to bang every stupid girl, eat tv dinners, live with my parents, torment the shit out of people, fingerbang chicks who look like there brothers, and I no longer listen to pop punk. With that in mind here's what I think
The cover as you can see is a beach with the name Wild America..(didn't see that coming huh) drawn on it. Now I am no lay out expert but the matte finish or whatever the fuck makes your crafty DIY idea look like shit. It looks like it sez ERIC to me on the cover. Musically I could see myself liking this if I wasn't an Adult. Sounds like what it's suppose to sound like except the recording sucks dick. Are there drums on this motherfucker?? I know there was live when i saw that sexy beast behind the kit. Actually this whole band is a bunch of sexy savages. And me and one of them have history...Real Man history..We both tipped our hats into the same pool, not at the same time mind you. I also stuck my man member through the 45 hole of his former bands records once too. I think I might have tried to convince said Pool to let me do "it" through the record...But that may be revisionism at play. Who Knows
Any Who this wasn't as bad as I was expecting and I can not believe they have the balls to sing like this. I couldn't do it. Maybe that's why they probably get laid more then I. The band gets points for playing crummy house parties to a bunch of smelly fuckers who I want nothing to do with. The band also gets points for these awesome lyrics "everytime i lay thinking of you i come undone". The band is good people. The band is a band in a sea of bands in this town full of bands I would rather see live then most other bands. The bands record is next to a pink dinosaur and 2 dollars bills because.....the record is GAY.